The Creative's Couch
Weekly podcast to inspire creative people to take action to achieve their dreams.
The Creative's Couch
The Glamour Years: Nikki Lee on Life Behind the Lens
What happens when the spotlight dims on an industry that once dominated newsstands across the UK? Former glamour model Nikki Lee pulls back the curtain on her unexpected journey through the height of lads' mag culture and beyond.
Nikki never dreamed of being a model—she was "a geezer bird driving around South End" with her modified car when fate intervened. Her candid conversation reveals how she transformed from a self-described Star Wars geek who "didn't fit in anywhere" at school into one of the UK's most recognized glamour models, landing approximately 100 magazine covers despite being told she'd never succeed.
The episode delves into the rarely discussed psychological aspects of glamour modeling, with Nikki describing how she developed an "alter ego" for work while maintaining a completely different identity at home. She challenges common misconceptions about the industry, suggesting that rather than damaging her confidence, modeling provided a sense of power and agency that school never did.
Perhaps most valuable are Nikki's unvarnished insights into industry toxicity—from photographers demanding sexual favors to the pervasive pressure about body image that led many models to drug use. She recalls the bizarre transition period when magazines stopped paying professional models and began using amateur content creators for free, foreshadowing today's social media economy.
As someone who experienced both the pre-internet modeling world and today's often brutal online culture, Nikki offers a unique perspective on how public scrutiny has evolved. Her recent experiences with severe online trolling that targeted her family members provide a sobering look at the dark side of digital fame.
Whether you're fascinated by the rise and fall of UK lads' mag culture, interested in the transformations brought by social media, or simply appreciate raw, honest conversation about navigating difficult industries with integrity, this episode delivers genuine insights that transcend mere nostalgia. Listen now and discover why Nikki's journey matters to anyone trying to understand how we reached today's complex relationship with image, celebrity, and online identity.
Hi, I'm Gemma Naylor. Welcome to the Creative's Couch. Today's guest is one of the UK's original glamour models, best known for Fast Car and 90s lads mags. It is the incredible Nikki Lee. Nikki, thank you for joining me on the creatives couch. You're very welcome. So, nikki, what was it about the world of glamour modeling that most appealed to you when you started out in the industry?
Speaker 2:um, oh, blimey um, it was kind of a weird process. I kind of fell into it. I know it sounds so like, of course you did love, but um it, I kind of fell into it because it was the modified car scene. So, basically I did, I had a modified car, thought I was a geezer bird driving around south end with me modified ka, and then a couple of people were like, oh, you should pose on the car and all that, and I was like, of course I should. And then, um, that of people were like, oh, you should pose on the car and all that, and I was like, well, of course I should. And then that kind of progressed.
Speaker 2:And then I'm obsessed with Katie Price love the bird. And then she was doing something in the paper and I think it was when she was in the jungle. And then, where I saw her in the jungle in the paper, there was a competition and I entered it and I got through and then I started getting work. This is years ago, by the way, before social media. So I got contact through my website and then I kind of I never thought, I never was at school thinking I'm going to be a model and I just want to be a vet. And then I was like I can't put animals down.
Speaker 1:Oh gosh, that's quite a challenge, I know.
Speaker 2:I was like I cannot put animals down the hand. That ain't for me. And then I wanted to be a presenter and then I thought, oh, I don't know what to do. And then literally fell into it by mistake in that respect and then loved it and never looked back. Gosh, what was it about it that you loved? Um, being as like the Katie Price slash, jordan being someone else. I mean going out and doing this sort of thing. I love getting done up and being Nicky Lee, but then when I'm at home, I've got no makeup on, I've got a hoodie on and all that my West Ham shirt and moping about. But it's being someone else, but the confidence comes with it, but back at home it's a bit I don't know. I can't explain it.
Speaker 1:It's like an alter ego, yeah it is.
Speaker 2:It's like Nicky Lee's work and then Nicky's at home with a parrot, yeah, and what's the parrot called Nicky Jasper, jasper, there we go, important information for the listeners. He's got a YouTube as well. No, he's my baby. He's like yeah.
Speaker 1:So did you think doing? Because I think it's a I don't want to say an urban myth. Women especially think that girls who choose to do topless shoots or naked photographs are lacking in confidence and it would damage their self-esteem. Was your experience very different to that?
Speaker 2:um, a lot of a lot of girls will tell you that it's a power thing, which is kind of true, because it's like you ain't getting this, not saying that, I'll walk around saying that all the time, but it is a kind of you, like I said, you just get to be someone else. So when I was was at school, I never wore makeup, never dressed like a girl. I was very football shirt, very baseball shirt. I still wear a baseball shirt now, but with a little twist. It wasn't about that. It was just like I said, you just got to be someone else. And then you do get this.
Speaker 2:People do judge you for doing that, but they always say daddy issues or you're missing something at home and that. But, like I say, I didn't have any confidence at school. I didn't have any. I was just not that girl. I was the girl was into Star Wars, sitting in the corner do you know what I mean? Where everyone else is, like you had the mean girls and then you had the geeks and I just didn't fit in anywhere. So doing it, I think even my school mates I say mates, school people see that and was how the hell has she gone from that to that and I don't know, it's just a weird transformation.
Speaker 1:Was it sort of very natural for you, sort of as soon as someone put a camera on you, you felt at home.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because my mum and dad are awful with the pictures. My mum looks at a picture and goes oh, I can't take a picture and I'm just one of them. Sickly photogenic people gonna dig out horrible pictures of me now.
Speaker 2:But like mostly, I'm quite photogenic and I'm just like I just I know how to work a camera, I know what looks good, I know without sounding all big-headed and all I know. Uh, to what I've been doing it years and years and years. I don't do it so much now, but I can turn it around if I need to turn it around.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, obviously, with all the stuff in the papers and immediate moment about a whole puff. Daddy, did you ever encounter anything untoward like during your time in the industry?
Speaker 2:So early doors, a friend of my dad's said to me I won't say the paper, but he said, like my friend works for this particular paper. Go and meet him, see what happens. I was like, okay, back in the day, no, social media didn't have location on your phone, didn't, just went to me. Mum. Okay, back in the day, no, social media didn't have location on your phone, didn't, just went to me. Mum, oh, I'm just popping to this geezer's house. All right, babe, see you later. Like who does that?
Speaker 2:Drove to this person's house, knocked on the door, went in. He was faffing about I had my portfolio with me. He comes in the kitchen, walks right up to me and tries to kiss me on the lips and I'm like the what? Yeah, something you've never met. And he went. Oh, you're going to be a hard one and I was like I need to leave.
Speaker 2:So, anyway, we go into the lift. I thought, right, I've got a gob on me, I can handle this. So we went in and I literally sat on a sofa like this and I just stayed well away. He flicked through my, my portfolio, and he was like, threw it across, smashed into a fireplace and I remember all the pages went on the floor and I was like, and he was like I was like vile. And he went um, yeah, you're fit. And um, you can be the next Kelly Bell, who was a massive model back then, who was my idol. He's, funnily enough, my friend now. But he was like you could be the next Kelly Bell. He goes. But if you don't suck a certain area, you you ain't going to get nowhere. And I'm like, oh well, I'll take my portfolio and leave. And I said, and I will prove you wrong, sweetheart. And I picked up my stuff and then I thought I've got to get out of here. Good job.
Speaker 2:I locked my car door, because when I run out to my car, locked the car, he come running out trying to open the door and try and drag me back in. And obviously a few swear words were mentioned and I was just like, oh, but this was so long ago, I didn't tell my mum, didn't tell the friend. I just was like no one's going to believe me and it is that typical, no one's going to believe you. And because it didn't get stopped or anything like that, like I'd still worked, I thought it's only now I've got. I never had this platform to speak like there wasn't filming back then. No, I know it sounds very old and decrepit, but we didn't have a voice anywhere. You couldn't, unless you was interviewed on a tv show or a car interview, something like that. You had no platform. It was all written in in articles and then they would just cut them bits out because they even knew the bloke, yeah, and they didn't want to be sued, so you couldn't win gosh, that's really yeah.
Speaker 1:How did that feel like knowing that stuff, like was going on with no voice?
Speaker 2:well when you're told you're fit but the only way you're going to get anywhere is if you go on a casting catch. Basically, I'm the sort of person that will prove you wrong. I was told I'd never get a front cover. I was told I'd never make it in the industry. I was told I was too fat, too old and I just didn't fit that mold. And I smashed everything and I was like huh and it was all through me. No one, no partner, no manager, nothing. It was all through my website. I constantly plugged that. I've got TV shows through my website, I've got interviews, I've got magazines and that bloke is just literally. I'll think of him and I'll just think you sad little man. Like you said, I'd get nothing and I've done even more.
Speaker 1:So did he spur you on? Yeah, do you think to actually be successful with it? Yeah, definitely, definitely.
Speaker 2:I thought I'm having this, I'll prove you wrong. Wrong because it was. It was heartbreaking because, oh, you're never going to get anywhere, you don't. And I was like, and I did go to some castings where I could tell, oh, do you want to come to a party after nicky? I'm like, no, I'm all right, thanks, I'll watch football. But like, oh, I want to go for a curry. I, I just weren't like. I went to one model party with my friend fifi. We queued up for two hours and because her friend was smoking in the queue, they wouldn't let us in the club. The geezer said you can't smoke in the queue and he went yeah, yeah, yeah, and he wouldn't put the fag out. And he, in the end, he put the fag out and the security went you're not coming in.
Speaker 2:And I went, oh, I queued for two hours and didn't even get in the club, and it was one of them, stupid, stupid. I'm not going to mention the agency, but a stupid agency that thought they were so up there and it was all about touchy-feely vibes. But you find that after yes, was it more of a pr party? Just like rubbing shoulders like god, you're trying to get you're trying to get zed listers in, and I was like no one cares I literally I'm not into that.
Speaker 2:I don't care who you are, as long as you're cool with me. But when people like, oh my god, such and such from big brother or such and I went and so what, don't care, really don't care, we met our parrot, like do you know what I mean? I was gonna bring him today.
Speaker 2:I didn't know you feel about having a parrot on it, you just sit there looking at you like hi, but yeah, I just I'm not into that where people get so swooped up with celebrity and half of them are. Some are nice, don't get me wrong, but some you just go. What's the hype?
Speaker 1:I don't get it, yeah I mean, do you think this controversial question now, nikki? But do you think, obviously, like the world now is obsessed with celebrity and it's encouraging a lot of younger people to take their clothes off to try and build a following?
Speaker 2:reality shows, love island, um yeah, then them sort of shows everyone just thinks they're going to be famous and then they're so hyped for a bit and then, when it all gets taken away, they're doing promo jobs, they're trying to work in a gym, but they're still trying to give that I'm still a celebrity vibe, and all this. I'm retiring from reality shows and it's like, oh honey, like shh, but yeah, it has gone a lot like that. I mean Back in the day when I was modelling, when it was Katie Price, jodie Marsh, michelle Marsh, lucy Pinder, jo Guest, all them sort of household names back then. And now people just pose with a bikini top and think they're the absolute nuts and you're just like at least I got paid for it when I'd done it. Do you know?
Speaker 1:what I mean. It was a job.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I went to work Now I knew the industry was flagging when Nuts and Zoo started going. Oh, we can give you a front cover, nick, but you're not getting paid. I said, well, I ain't paying my phone bill, is it? And then they'd get some Doris around the corner posing in the most awful, awful picture and they'd put her front cover and she'd done it for nothing like a selfie. And I'm like what is going on? Yeah, why? Why did that happen? What was the downfall?
Speaker 1:do you think of that? Because they had no money.
Speaker 2:They had no money Because people weren't buying magazines. It was all going on the internet. So everyone's clicking and people girls would throw themselves at these magazines to be famous. So they would, oh, I'll do it for nothing. And I'm like what are you doing, man? I'm doing this as a full-time job. Yeah, so I? So I'd lose out and they'd be like no, I haven't.
Speaker 2:But then they'd moan that the girls were rubbish and it's like, well, what would you expect? Yeah, they're not being paid. Exactly you wouldn't do that like in a catering thing. Would you hire someone that's just going to copy something off of YouTube?
Speaker 1:do you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like I, want you to pizza love, but like I don't get that but day, get what you pay for absolutely.
Speaker 1:I mean, do you think obviously, with so many people setting up OnlyFans accounts and having social media that is more kind of provocative in nature, how do you think that affects people's mental health?
Speaker 2:I think there's a lot of pressure. It's see, I did topless slash page three many, many, many, many, many years ago and them sort of pictures are in magazines and in papers. It's not so much on the internet, but these girls now are putting them on OnlyFans. And now people are hacking or joining their page and then nicking the pictures and then oh yeah, and then putting them on other websites, wow, and then earning off them girls. So the girls aren't getting money off of their subscription, but some bob down the road's got a page dedicated to that person and it's ridiculous. But girls, some girls I've got a particular friend that would never do adult work, shall we say.
Speaker 2:And now she's a multimillionaire because she gives the illusion she does adult work on OnlyFans. She's a very clever girl. The guys think they're getting exclusive and she's like nick. They think I'm doing something, when in fact I'm just having a scratch like it. I'm trying to word it politely, but she's like, got a quilt over and she's scratching.
Speaker 1:You can't see anything. No, but the guys are like oh, she's scratching and it's like oh that's hilarious, oh no, and she's like earning dot she's.
Speaker 2:I think she done her first million last year, wow, so that's why it's so appealing for people, isn't it? And it was definitely during covid that was. That was the time when everyone was like only fans, and it's like I don't really hear about it now, to be honest only a negative way and it's like oh, don't look if you don't like it.
Speaker 2:That's what I don't understand. If you don't like something, don't look. Yeah, there's stuff I don't like. I don't understand. If you don't like something, don't look. Yeah, the stuff I don't like, I don't look. If I don't like a particular person on YouTube or TikTok, I scroll past or I block them so they don't come up on my feed. I don't know why people just can't do the same, why you got to be nasty, be nice.
Speaker 1:No, it's so nice, don't be?
Speaker 2:I mean, at what point during your and the online world really started to impact the work you were getting. Um, I would say, god, when did I start? 2004? I started late. Um, I started very, very late and I had to lie about my age, oops. But um, I kind of went with how old do you think I am? And the particular photographer said an age.
Speaker 2:I went okay, that's it for the for the next 10 years I've stayed that age and everyone no one questioned it. I thought fine, lovely, um, yeah, so that, oh god, that's got to be 2004. I did the car shows around that, so you got sounds so old school, but it was like my space and your own website so your own website was your cv, so I was always like nicki leecom, nicki leecouk, get on there.
Speaker 2:And no one really did that. They didn't really. I used to advertise myself anyway. If I could social media, I just if I'd have had social media back then the way I was, I would be one of them, tiktokers or Instagram that was everywhere but I had to do it old school from your website, but it kind of impacted then.
Speaker 2:like Fast Car now doesn't exist, it's online. They do shows, but it's online, but they don't have girls anymore. Because a few years ago a lot of some, some busy bodies didn't like grid girls, don't like dark girls, and my work just went and it's like oh, cheers, love. Why do you think?
Speaker 1:I know they said that it wasn't empowering for women, but from what I've witnessed, it was just like catsuits or what girls would wear.
Speaker 2:I couldn't be more dressed yeah, I could not be more dressed. I would go to a car show and I would have either like the glamour shoes I used to wear, stripper shoes silica, and then I'd wear all in one, like checkered or black and white or whatever, zipped up to my neck, no cleavage, nothing. I am so covered and yet you still got grief. Yeah, and I was the sort of girl if I was given a, what a fly is like to promote whatever company I was working for. If I saw a couple, I'd beeline for the girlfriend. I always went to the and they always appreciate that, because normally girls flirt with the boyfriend, and I'm like hon.
Speaker 1:I don't care.
Speaker 2:I don't care about you, man you look fit, and then they're like, how'd get in? And then they used to be like, how'd you get into this, I'd love to do it. I used to tell girls, come and do it with me, because it's like so many people don't. No one helped me when I started and I would always like to help. I wouldn't recommend it now. I'm not going to lie. It it's very. Have you had this done? Have you had that done? Have you got this? How many? How many followers have you got to get signed by a record label or a modeling agent? Sorry, what like? Why can't you look at someone's picture or hear someone's?
Speaker 1:voice and be like bang yeah and take a chance.
Speaker 2:Now I'm like, oh, whatever trevor, but yeah yeah, they just want to do a lot of the work yeah, it is because they say oh, you've got a lot of followers, but how do you know you haven't bought them. So then you sign them an exclusive contract and you've just wasted your money. So you might as well just trust in the process with that person.
Speaker 1:I mean, what do you think it was about, kind of that movement to stop women doing that kind of work? What do you think triggered it? I know it was the Me Too, all the Me Too stuff coming out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was that, and I just think it was a lot of people that didn't actually understand what we did. They thought there was just dizzy girls that would turn up. I mean, don't get me wrong, a lot of them were dizzy girls. I was quite a rarity because I'd actually have a bit of personality. People would remember me, whether you liked me look-wise. You'd remember me because I'd be like oh, I'm back, whereas they'd turn up going, ah, I ain't got no personality, is that a car bonnet with glamour shoes on and then slipped and scraped all down the bonnet and I was like, oh dear, barefoot love.
Speaker 2:Try barefoot yeah literally this car just went. I was like, oh gosh, amateur, yeah full. I just it's just a lot of busy people and unfortunately it got taken over so much. And then it went really mainstream and I, seeing it on on the news, like in the morning, like there was a group of girls all sat in catsuits, all zipped up, working for different companies, saying what is wrong with what we're doing, and a lot of it's just jealous girls, and I don't mean that horrible, a lot of them when you talk to them and they go I'd love to do what you do. It's like why, why not do it? Yeah, if you want to do something, life's too short, just do it.
Speaker 1:I know because a lot of women sort of said to me at the time oh, but there's loads of sexual harassments in those environments. I think if you're a good looking girl, you get that when you walk out of your house in the morning, you don't need to be in an office.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah you can get that in an office and like how you. A lot of people have that fantasy of a secretarial, so you can imagine you're going to get more grief in an office than on a grid. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but yeah, no, unfortunately it did take over. All that. Don't let the girls. You don't get dark girls anymore. You don't get car. Now I do a car show. They want me in a hoodie and I'm like winning, I like that, but it's different. It's not the same, is it? I'd walk around in like shoes, like that silly little skirt or hot pants or all the all-in-one, and now it's like hoodie, bum, bag, go and sell this, go and do that, and I'm like okay, so yeah, it's changed yeah, massively.
Speaker 1:Do you still enjoy it or not?
Speaker 2:I did. Funnily enough, I did a car show last week and it was so surreal because I saw about three people that I saw from the car shows back in the day and I'm like, and they're like you don't look, no different, and I was like you do. But, um, it was. I loved it because it I used to be the girl that would turn up early, get set up and I wouldn't eat, I wouldn't not promoting stuff, but I meant because I love my work so much, I wouldn't stop. I would be running around like we used to have a stage for fast car be on the pole. We used to do like competitions. I was presenting, I was getting people involved in that and it was. It just flew a buzz, it wasn't work. Yeah, it was. I loved it and I love cars as well and I do. I miss it. I miss it when I think about it makes me sad because I've sad times. But yeah, it's, but it's also very toxic, yes, very toxic. What's the?
Speaker 2:most toxic thing about it in your experience um where do you start the list, the top five, you know what? Because I didn't fit into that category and people at the magazine don't work there anymore, so I don't really care. But but put it this way I won a competition with another girl and we did a photo shoot together and then when the cover come out they put her on it and not me, even though we both won it, and I'm like hello. And then when we was doing shows, basically the magazine would take pictures of us. So say, there was a show called USC, yeah, usc, ultimate street car, yeah. So they would take pictures, all the models, and a couple of times they did it.
Speaker 2:They always mentioned the models that had won competitions with them, and I'd always be left out. And I'm like and then one day I just went up to the editor and I was like, can I have a word? And he literally was like oh no. I was like, have you got a problem with me? Because you booked me for shows, because I bring the crowd in. But when I mean I bring the crowd, I was so cool with people that they wanted to come back and say yeah, that's just your personality.
Speaker 2:And I was like, but you don't put me in the magazine, and he wasn't the picture editor, and he goes, I don't pick the pictures. And I went, all right, I'm going to show you three magazines and I'm like, there's that girl, there's that girl, I've won the thing with her, but where am I? And he goes. And, to be fair, then they changed and I was in it every month for about four years was it just an accident?
Speaker 2:I think there was a couple of girls that worked there that didn't like me. Okay at all, because I think yet again, they wanted to do what I was doing. But they worked in the office. That's your choice, but take it out on me because I've got a gob. They probably thought I could handle it and I was a bit like oh whatever, don't put me in your mag, then I'll go work for that's what they wanted me to work for someone else. And I was like no, I used to turn up in a fast car outfit and have a Nikki Lee belt on and I used to go mad you can't promote yourself. I'm like. Why it's me? Why exactly I'm like? Why it's my face? Exactly it's me.
Speaker 2:I didn't understand it but yeah, I think a lot of girls backstage were a bit meh yeah, south one, whatever guys, did you ever experience a lot of?
Speaker 1:because obviously when you started, the online world didn't really exist, but then start coming in. Did you ever experience any kind of trolling or unpleasantries?
Speaker 2:um, right, when I first oh blimey, when I first did a car show, I didn't really know about fake tan and I put my fake tan on really badly and I forgot about like backs and legs and things like that happens to all of us. Oh my, and girls weren't really girls, girls back then. They were quite competitive, like if that, if I looked rubbish, someone would be like, yeah, leave her looking rubbish because I want to look better. They wouldn't tell you, no, they didn't. And I still remember the girl that did that to me, right, and um, there was a picture of me and it was so bad, it was so, and it was on a.
Speaker 2:It was on a forum. That is like tattle life now, but we'll talk about that later. Um, it was, it was a car show forum. I don't know if you remember forums and stuff. Basically a forum would be like, uh, usernames would join and you would have topics. So you'd have like a nicki lee topic, or you'd have a fast car topic or you'd have a max power and then people would go oh, have you seen nicki? What's she?
Speaker 1:doing in their opinions.
Speaker 2:Yes, okay, you know about things like yeah, chip, chip, chip away and, um, someone put a picture of me up and it was so bad. It was so, so bad and I was like, and I was getting hammered. They were like, how is this a model? It was just, it was just an unflattering angle. Yeah, when I looked at it I was like, oh god, maybe I shouldn't model, but like it was, it was really bad. It was one of them like I, I had heels on, I was walking on mud, so my legs were so bleh. The picture is in my head now and I was looking at it going oh, I might have to go Weight Watchers Monday. It was such an unflattering angle of me, right, but I can admit it.
Speaker 1:And someone put it on my.
Speaker 2:No, but someone put that picture on my forum and went, oh my God, nick, you need to sack this girl that's doing your promo. Because I've got like nicky lee on the back of me and it's me and I'm like, oh yeah, I'll sack her. I was like, oh god, diet, diet, diet. And then that's another toxic trait. That was like hell, but I managed to get that picture ripped off of that forum and my forum so that that's disappeared. Now watch it come creeping back and haunting me. But, um, that was early, that was 2005, that was.
Speaker 1:That was the first experience of trolling I'd ever had it's just bizarre, isn't it, that someone would want to go out of their way to try and sabotage you like yeah, no, it was.
Speaker 2:It was horrible because you're like why don't you like me now? I'm not, I don't care. If you like me back, then I would want everyone to like me because you're building your brand and it's it's personal, isn't it?
Speaker 1:and it just feels really intrusive when people do that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's different now. Trolling's a whole nother level. Now to the point where you know we've I've had to go to the police this year with trolling all right, it's just what's right. You didn't do it. Yeah, it got to the point we had to go to the police and it got personal and mentioning family members. And I don't care what you think of me, but don't diss my partner, don't diss my brother and don't diss my dad. That's been passed away. There's certain things you don't do to someone, whether you like me or hate me. You don't mention my mum. You don't mention my brother. It's disgusting, yeah, like we make. George will tell you what I went through this year with the trolling. There was videos, there was pictures, there was posts, what was?
Speaker 1:the intention behind it. Did you know this person?
Speaker 2:uh, there was a couple of people. There's a couple of people. This person I'm not going to mention his name, but he's obsessed with my partner and it's quite sad, really, and because my partner stopped, he my partner was quite cool talking to him, but then he went too far. He got a bit answer me, answer me, and and he was like no, I'm busy, I'm having a dinner like, or I'm asleep, and then he started getting vicious with me. And then this tattle life website there's.
Speaker 2:There's such vile comments and lies. That's what annoys me. I don't care if someone goes oh, nicky looked like shit today. I'll be like, yeah, I did, I did, I did, I did look horrendous.
Speaker 2:There's a video where this is how bad it is. I had cane row plats. Yeah, I took it out, and I didn't want to be in the video that my partner was filming. I just sat like at the side, but I'm a little bit caught in it. Oh, don't she know about toner? She's got needs to brush her hair. I'm like it's curly hair and I was like my hair's natural. You idiot like these people having a go at me and I'm like are you okay? Hon, do you want to see a picture of me when I was a kid, when I had white hair and it still hit like oh god. And then yeah, then it got to my brother and then they were digging at my dad and then a girl was saying she went to school with me, saying, oh, the village she grew up in I went Canningtown's not a village Like you didn't grow up with me, did?
Speaker 1:you.
Speaker 2:But other people believe them because I am not on this website to defend myself, apart from here, and you shouldn't need to.
Speaker 2:No, I shouldn't, but what's he got to do with you? I don from here and you shouldn't need to no, I shouldn't but what's he gonna do with you? Yeah, I don't understand it, but yeah, that's. This particular person was trolling my partner and then just took vengeance on me. Vile, vile stuff written about me and saying I'm animal cruelty to my parrot. That parrot is loved more than my partner. Sorry, babe, but like no, he's like my baby. I would do nothing to him, but they would.
Speaker 1:anything to get.
Speaker 2:Yeah, anything that triggers you, yeah and you've got to be cool with that. That's what annoys me. I'm not allowed to say nothing. Well, I am so tough.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so yeah, did you find like working in an industry that's all well predominantly about your aesthetic, if people did take unflattering photos and share them? Did it play on your mind Like did it make you obsessed?
Speaker 2:No, back then because there wasn't Google. You couldn't relive it over and over again.
Speaker 2:I said that really weird Google, google, because Google went about then. You didn't really see it and a lot of the photographers I worked with were quite OCD with no. I used to be the model that would do a photo shoot for like two hours. The photographer would take like 200 pictures as an example and I'd be like can I have all 200? No, you can have four. I'm like what? Yeah, and now I know why, because some of them you ain't looking good, no matter what you do to this picture. But at the time I'd be like no, I want all of them.
Speaker 2:He goes what are you going to do with 200 pictures of yourself? I'm like, just look at me. But I was just like no, because. And then now I get it. Now I'm like, oh, you picked the best of that outfit or whatever. But yeah, google wasn't so bad. Obviously. Back then you just got a CD, remember. Then you just put a CD in and all your pictures were there and I'd be like I like that one, like that one. And then they'd end up in the magazine, but only a couple of pictures.
Speaker 2:But, you'd shoot for like 200 or whatever. Yeah, but obviously yeah, but obviously the better you got, the less pictures they took. When I did a quick shoot, I did one with a guy called alan strutt, who's like quite a famous photographer. I think I was with him for 20 minutes. Wow, that is fast. And I knew that he was like right, you're done. Bye. I knew I've got the shot, yeah, whereas others he put me in for two hours. He goes oh, you can have an easy day, can't you? I was like so, you're like, but, um, yeah, that's when you knew you was doing good, because you just got the job done, got the shot that you wanted and that's it. Where are a?
Speaker 1:lot of the models, because you just touched on it and it's quite toxic about their weight and yes, yes out loud or something quite private that they battled or did you? Did they vocalize?
Speaker 2:um, especially with the the car scene. I remember what a particular time we went up north to do a show and I was mates with all the models, used to love them all, but they used to keep sneaking off without me and I was a bit like, oh, hello. And then I kind of I thought what is wrong with me? Just say something. I was like, is there a problem? And they went, nick, you don't do coke. And I was like, well, no, I don't. But they were like, well, that's to stay skinny. They all went off and did coke. They come back bouncing off the wall and I'm like I'm high on life. I'm a nightmare. I'm a nightmare sober.
Speaker 2:Can you imagine me drunk and on coke? I've never done coke in my life. I wouldn't even know how to do it. But no one will believe me because of circumstances. But I was like I don't get why you're wasting money. But the girls I'd look, they would be so gone. The only thing I did I took these slimming tablets that had speed in them. Don't condone it, kids Turned my pee orange, what's that about? And I found a picture of it. I was ill. I looked like a skeleton. I was so ill and obviously where I got big boot. It just looked so odd on me. It was so out of place. Did you feel poorly as well? Um, I felt drained, but I felt like I had to look like that.
Speaker 1:That was the problem. That was the image at the time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what they wanted. They went on your, your hips, your waist, all that. You had to send measurements ratios you had to fit yeah, yes, fun times. Toxicity at its best yeah, it't great.
Speaker 1:How many of the girls on the scene did you think were like completely natural at that point? As in not taking yeah or not taking enhancers or plastic surgery or plastic, surgery?
Speaker 2:Not many. Most people had boob jobs but they would lie about it and I'm like they don't stay up like that, hun, but or they'd have it. There was a phase that Page Free would do. They would inject the girls with water or some sort of silicate, like inject it to make their breasts bigger, but it was not a boob job and I'm like, well, it's the same thing, isn't it? It's still enhancing someone. That ain't natural, but who am I to judge? But yeah, not many. There were some girls that had I've seen plenty of boobage in my time other girls bits and pieces, but there were some that had brilliant boobs and some not so much.
Speaker 2:But um, we're all made different we're all made horses for courses and all that, all right, okay, yeah, yeah, not many, but most people, once they get what all they see someone else have something that, oh, I'll try that then. Then katie price so you just, I love that bird's pieces. I'm not dissing her at all, but look how many surgeries she's had and I'm like, oh honey, do you think someone?
Speaker 1:like katie price, has just lost sight of what she, because obviously she's got a body small fear, isn't she? Yeah, she hers personally.
Speaker 2:If you've watched her, I don want to. There was a particular partner she had and a lot of people were posting the videos on TikTok of how he spoke about her. I knew that back then. I could tell back then he hated that she was more famous than him and the way he puts her down and she so loved him. It's so annoying because I could see how much she loved him and he was just like yeah're, you're only a pair of boobs and you're only there and it's like you or she was a good businesswoman as well, wasn't she it?
Speaker 2:was. You're still talking about her, she she was. She was one of the first ones I worked with and she remembered me a couple of times when I've worked with her and she was absolutely brilliant with me. I did, uh, children in need with her and I did a song and she just got with his partner and we were talking and she goes oh, what's made you do the song? So my brother's got severe autism. She went oh my god, my harvey's got. I said yeah, I know. And then she was asking stuff and I said, yeah, they can't feel heat, they they never know when they're full. She went oh my god, she goes. No one's ever told me that. She just didn't know any of this. And I said no, no one told my mum either. And I was like we just learn it as obviously internet and everything. And then she was like oh, and then when I saw her again she was like, oh, she just obviously remember me about talking about harvey yeah but, um, like when people slay her or not, I just she.
Speaker 2:I just think she's funny because she, she gets what she wants. You're talking about her, you're giving her what she wants, so carry on that's it I mean blimey I could. I can only imagine the trolling she get. That that must be another level, poor thing yeah honestly, I couldn't think of, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't wish.
Speaker 2:Honestly, trolling is just like just shush. If don't like, like I say, don't watch it, but just be nice yeah, would you let?
Speaker 2:if someone sort of the age about 15 16 came up to you now, nick, and said, nicky, I really want to be a glamour module and I know I got, oh, there we go, you'd say no I was 24 when I started and, like I say I, I went to this, uh, photographer who's called jeff kane he used to work for the sport paper and I think he said something like oh, how old, you 19? And I went, yeah, yeah, people were retiring at 24, not starting, so I'd always stayed as 19 for years, years. People still don't know how old I am. I'm like, keep guessing, I don't care, I don't care. But, um, I would not have at 15, 16, the pressure.
Speaker 2:I mean, you'll remember back when I was 15, 16, the mobile phones has only just come out like the brick. Um, there was no social media, there was no botox, fillers, makeup, contouring, none of that, uh, none of nothing to enhance you, so it's all bare and um, if a 16, 15, 16 year, I'd be like do you know what? Even when you're 18, it's just so toxic. You've got to have a really, really good head on your shoulder, good, good friends around you to bring you back down. When you think you're the nuts, it's like, oh, come on, hun, you still get up and do this job and do it. You ain't all that. And you're like oh, so you know, you've got to know your limits of it. Yeah, I wouldn't recommend it at all.
Speaker 1:How do you feel about sort of young girls now who do see sort of all this plastic surgery and aesthetic work going on like from?
Speaker 2:their idols, because it's expensive, that stuff but they look older than people in their 30s 40s. That's the thing they're putting so much and they've got this plastic sheen. Look about them and I'm like, has someone polished? You like it looks like really like mr sheen on you, like I don't get it. I don't get me wrong, like a little, but I'll say a little tweak, but not when you're that age. I'm sorry, you're still growing you're still growing like I.
Speaker 2:I didn't do anything till I was 24, so even then I thought that's still your body changes all the time, yeah, so yeah, it's scary when you see the girls now going to school and they've got like tiny little skirts on boots, like branded bags. I had a Benetton bag. I loved that bag, and I had a Puma bag that was a luminous pink. I was the nuts mate, but, like everyone else, like now, I see them going with like a Louis Vuitton bag and I'm like what Do you think?
Speaker 1:that social media. That's the pressure being captured and having it definitely out there yeah, definitely, definitely.
Speaker 2:That's what they're all about now. It's all like just they follow people on instagram. See what gets them likes and things. I'm gonna get that now and it's like but you're at school yeah.
Speaker 1:Do you think anything has replaced like that old-fashioned glamour industry, like the girls used to do the magazines?
Speaker 2:do you think only fans is like the space I think, I think it's gone all together I I think only fans is your only sort of closest thing. I mean, I don't really get booked for modeling assignments unless it's like a fashion brand or they're promoting a particular t-shirt or a sports brand or something like that. It's not like a lingerie like, and so even anne summers and like victoria's secrets and I don't. I think that's kind of tough. I don't really because I'm not in it.
Speaker 2:Really now I don't really take much notice, whereas back in the day I'd be like there'd be, castings and yeah, but I think a lot of the old school models and that they either get a normal job or they they venture into presenting or being a band because they've got that kind of background of being in the industry they can go acting wise or something else with it, but it's very strange. It's very strange how it's got, because blink and it's gone.
Speaker 1:It's so strange? Do you find that your background in the glamour world has helped you with other work, or do you think it's also potentially some people be restrictive because they like to pigeonhole you in a certain genre?
Speaker 2:um, A lot of people don't like that. That's my background. I don't know why. I don't know what it's got anything to do with you. People Google and see that I've done lads, mags and stuff and some people are put off with that. But a lot of the time I tell people what I've done. I'm like just so you know I've done that. If you don't like it, there, you go there if you want to believe it grow up.
Speaker 1:But yeah, like, why do you think they were written, if they were untrue like two?
Speaker 2:people, uh, sold stories on me, sold them.
Speaker 1:Okay, no one fact checked it no one fact checked it and because I've not spoken about it.
Speaker 2:They must be true. And I'm like but it's illegal, uh, it's still going through the courts now, so I can't talk about it. So, but you people go, oh, it must be true, because you know she, she would come out. I'm not allowed to talk, that's the most I can say about it. It's in the courts and it's been going on for years. And when it all does come out, trust me, you're going to know exactly what went on. But if you want to believe it, whatever man.
Speaker 1:Do you have any regrets from any of the decisions that you made professionally?
Speaker 2:To be honest, no, because it wouldn't put me where I am now, which is awesome. Some of them I do look at and go like one time I did. I streaked over Upton Park topless, not fully naked. That I can't believe. I did that.
Speaker 1:So brave that was so bad, I mean.
Speaker 2:And I was chasing John Leslie Like what the hell? Hell? I got paid a lot of money to do that. Um, it was over west ham. I got banned from west ham for a year.
Speaker 2:I was like what I would never have done that I was like I beg your pardon, and it was with an agency and they said don't worry, it's either going to be, you're either going to chase gary luc, chris Evans or John Leslie. And I was like, oh, whatever, I don't really care. Got there, I can still remember I had my full West Ham kit on, like shorts, trainers. I had to wear leg warmers and put my mobile phone in my leg warmer because the guy went three, two, one go. I had to take my top off and run across this pitch and they told me John Leslie knew I was coming, so he was in goal and at the time he was out with Abbey Titmuss, so I think they'd split up or something.
Speaker 2:So he was in the press a lot and they were like make a beeline for him. So I was running after him and he's going go away, go away. No idea what's happening. He didn't have a clue, mate. He literally went oh gosh, and he ran and I was like wait for me. And the security grabbed me, put a coat around it and the whole crowd went leave her on, leave her on. And then I looked and there was all people, there was people that I knew in bands and stuff going nikki and I'm like all right, not your band from west ham. I was like no, it was a job that you were paid to do.
Speaker 1:You just thought they'd have got that all cleared. It went everywhere. It was on Loose.
Speaker 2:Women. It was in the papers even. Oh, what's his name Chris Miles spoke about.
Speaker 1:He went, this bird run passed me at a celebrity foot and I was like it's me but yeah, that I don't regret it, I just can't, am I?
Speaker 2:so, yeah, and what's your most proud achievement, nikki? Um, doing all those magazines and stuff with fast car, because they told me I'd never have a front cover. I didn't. I don't think I had a front cover with fast cars another, but it was another magazine through the fast car shoot, because what they do is take a photo of you. So what would happen? I never had a front cover with fast car, but what they would do is they'd do a shoot with me, so they'd done 100 pictures, like I say, they would keep 25 of them and then the other 75 they would from that shoe they would sell them onto other max okay so it was like all exclusive but a different.
Speaker 2:It was the same outfit but different pose, and I had about I think I worked out about 100 hundred covers or something, but for someone that was like, well, you'll never have a front cover, that's amazing but probably that, and as cringe as it was literally doing car shows and everyone knowing who I was it was just a boom, like girls, like I even get girls now like commenting going.
Speaker 2:You was my idol when I used to do modelling and bits and pieces. Oh honey, yeah, some bird that sits over parrot. That's special, do you know?
Speaker 1:what I mean?
Speaker 2:you mean something to somebody, yeah that's like people used to come to me and go how do I get into it? I'll just be honest and be like baby, you don't need a boob job, you don't need this, you need this, you need this, and oh, okay. And then if they want to do it, they do it, sort of thing, yeah, you've got to be happy with yourself before you do stuff like that, because it is like I say it's a toxic.
Speaker 2:If you've got a little trigger about yourself, that's not the place for you. It will microscope into the biggest ugh of your life.
Speaker 1:So would that be your best bit of advice to somebody is be happy with yourself first, yeah and remember the internet keeps things forever. So yeah, forever. So yeah, what you do, what you think's a great shoot or whatever, might not be in a couple of years time. So I'm all right, I've done all right. So no, you're amazing. Oh, nikki, thank you so much. You're very welcome, nikki lee.